I’ve used them for years and while they can be hit and miss (mostly hit), I couldn’t help thinking that something else was missing. Something that, by the time I achieved my goals, made them seem less exciting…less relevant. I’d somehow become less connected with the outcomes.

I met Graham King almost two years ago during one of the most intensive training courses you could ever imagine.

I heard Graham’s story and recognised that, since we’ve already created the life we live right now, we can absolutely create the life we want into the future. If we just pay attention to one small, but very important detail when setting goals, we can truly achieve what our hearts desire.

What Graham described reminded me of a story in which an expert was speaking to a group of business students.

In the story, the expert pulled out a large jar and put it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked the students, “Is this jar full?”

Everyone in the class said, “Yes.”

He then reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He poured some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks.

Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?”

By this time the class was less eager to respond. “Probably not,” one of them answered.

The expert looked up at them, smiled, reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?”

“No!” the class shouted. They were onto him.

After a short time, he reached over, picked up a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim.

Then he looked up at the class and asked, “What is the point of this exercise?”

One very keen student raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your life is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more in it!”

“No,” the expert replied, “that’s not the point. “What this exercise teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.”

Graham teaches about SMILEY Goals (Specific, Measurable, Inspirational, Likely, Ecological, Yours) and makes this the basis, the foundation, for setting goals that stick. (And, let me tell you, they do stick.)

SMILEY Goals connect to Your heart. They inspire You. Most importantly, they make You Smile.

Why do they work?

Listen to Graham’s radio recorded radio interview with Coach Bobbi recorded on Sunday March 13, 2011.

Or, you can visit Ask Coach Bobbi on Blogtalk Radio.

If the thought of this gets you down, don’t worry, you are not the only one!

Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life.

There are two ways of facing difficulties. You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.

Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence. Deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self worth.

Your response to issues and difficulties

When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.

There is an unwritten rule that says:

Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer.

So, if after setback you ask yourself something like

“Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?”

Your mind will probably come out with

“Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!”

Sound familiar?

Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:

“What did I learn from this setback for next time?”

Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.

When Setbacks do Occur

Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:

• Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
• What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
• What is good about this situation?
• How can I make the most of this situation?
• What can I learn from it?
• What are the facts about this problem?
• How can we make it a successful outcome?

Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out. View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem

Think about the negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback.

What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers?

Write these down now and make them a habit.

I have heard so much information about it and I’m sure you have too. I mean who hasn’t heard of The Secret? I have spent years trying to master this manifesting thing, knowing the universal law that what you think you create.

Well, I recently heard some fabulous information from Wayne Dwyer that sums it up beautifully.

The Seven Principles of Manifestation:

1. Imagination

Our greatest gift is our imagination. First you must be able to imagine the goal and passionately believe in it.

2. Living from the end

This relates to living as if you already have the goal, say the same things you would say if you had it, have the same attitude, have the same joy and excitement as though you already have it.

3. Assume the feeling

Very importantly you must feel as though you have the goal. Imagine you have it now and allow the feeling of that flood your body. It could be a buzzing feeling, a warmth, a smile plastered on your face – whatever it is for you. Your unconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality!

4. Attention

What kind of attention are you putting on the feeling. Is it positive attention, pretending you have it now and knowing it is now manifesting or negative attention by thinking how much you ‘want’ it, because the universe will deliver the feeling of ‘wanting’, so you will never actually get it!

5. Consciousness

Are you living consciously or unconsciously? The subconscious mind is constantly being programmed from your conscious mind, so what are your thoughts, and what commands are you sending your subconscious mind without realising it? Be aware of your thoughts.

6. The last 5 minutes

The last 5 minutes before you go to sleep are critical in helping you create a wonderful tomorrow. If you are going to be marinating in the last thoughts of your day for an 8 hour sleep you would want to make sure they are wonderful thoughts!

7. Natural

You must ensure the goal or dream you desire feels natural to you. For example, if you are 5 foot tall and have a dream to be a basketballer, does that really feel natural to you? Also, if you are lacking abundance in your life for example, does it feel natural to you? If not, start looking at what life programming you have causing that blockage.

Above all you must actually take this action to start manifesting your hearts desires. You can’t just meditate on $100,000 and expect it to just show up one day, you need to still take action towards that goal, no matter how small. The universe is conspiring for you success so keep taking action towards your goal and it will send you some travelling escalators or even a lift to the top to help you get there faster!

Published with permission: Samantha King

So let’s start with one!

“Coaching is an on-going partnership that helps clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives.”

Through the process of coaching, clients deepen learning, improve performance, and enhance quality of life.

Beginning with the clients’ desires, coaching uses reporting, exploring, and a consistent commitment to move the client forward.

Coaching accelerates the clients’ progress by providing greater focus and awareness of choice. Coaching concentrates on where clients are today and what they are willing to do to get where they want to be tomorrow.” – International Coach Federation, ICF

Life Coaching is all about helping people get from where they are in their life to where they want to get to.

If everyone is being honest with themselves, I think we could all do with improving an area or two of our lives.

But why don’t people do anything about it?

Everyone knows what to do in life to become more successful but they don’t do what they know.

It is a Life Coach’s job to help people get what they want in life in by breaking down the barriers that people impose on themselves.

The best analogy you can ever use is that of a Personal Fitness Trainer.

When you go to a gym they will first ask you what your goals are:

Do you want to lose weight?

Lose fat?

Build muscle?

Build endurance?

Increase stamina?

Etc

They will then see where you are at with regards to your goal.

So for example, if you want to lose body fat they may ask you to take a body fat composition test that will measure your current levels of body fat, you may be asked to take a fitness test, asked what your current eating habits are etc

After establishing exactly how much you want to lose and over what period of time you want to lose it, the trainer will then devise a plan of action of what you must do in order to achieve your fat reduction goals.

Along the way, your personal fitness trainer will encourage and motivate you, ask you questions about your motivations and any barriers that you face and will help you.

The end goal of a trainer is to help you achieve your goals a lot quicker and more effectively than if you did it yourself.

A Life Coach does EXACTLY the same as a Personal Trainer but with areas of your life.

This could include:

Rather than actually telling someone the answers, a Life Coach is the catalyst for getting a client to find the answers themselves.

By asking challenging and thought provoking questions, a Life Coach can unlock the potential in a client.

Coaching is forward looking and focused on the action you are willing to take to get what you want out of life.

Sometimes you just can’t see the wood for the trees. You so are wrapped up in everyday life that indeed life just passes you by.

Well, coaching lets you to take a step back and see different alternatives and actually examine your life and all of it’s component parts.

This in turn leads to greater:

• Self-awareness
• Focus
• Accountability

A Coach Is . . .

• Your own personal trainer to enable you to achieve your goals
• Your champion during a turnaround.
• Your trainer in communication and life skills.
• Your sounding board when making choices.
• Your motivation when strong actions are called for.
• Your unconditional support when you take a hit.
• Your mentor in personal development.
• Your co-designer when creating an extraordinary project.
• Your beacon during stormy times.
• Your wake-up call if you don’t hear your own.

And most importantly, the professional coach is

How does coaching work?

You now know what coaching actually is, so how does it work?

Well, coaching can be conducted through a number of mediums – here are the most popular:

No matter what method is used the approach is the same.

During each coaching session the coach and the client will discuss and explore the client’s journey including their goals, wins, challenges, and opportunities, as well as develop fieldwork for the coming week.

Fieldwork isn’t like the homework you were assigned in school.

It consists of action steps to move you closer toward your goals and dreams.

The client brings the agenda and the coach brings the coaching skills to create a partnership that moves the client forward.